Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize