You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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