im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize