Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize