I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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