Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
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Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
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So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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