Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Couch. On fire.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize