12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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