So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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