She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I think I just sharted jello shots
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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