You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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