I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize