I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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