You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize