When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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