I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize