it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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