very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize