the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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