Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize