first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize