Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
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he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
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Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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