shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize