He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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