Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
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It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
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Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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