is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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