Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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