Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize