I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize