it hurts more in the daytime
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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