Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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