Christians are straight up FREAKS
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
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You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
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I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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