She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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