i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
one might say we're banned from that church
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize