Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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