If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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