Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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