well you can't waste a boner
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
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Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
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my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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