I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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