fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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