he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It's not a walk of shame if you run
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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