I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
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I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
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You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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