Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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