i permit you to call me
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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