another moral hangover. fuck.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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