I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
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Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
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I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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