remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
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Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
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You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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