WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize