We won't sleep together?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize