i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Randomize